Cracks in the Wall
by RockinJanelle
Summary: He's here. He's talking in your ear, and he won't stop. mental!Cas drabble. mental!Cas/Lucifer. Based off 7x17. T


**Title:** "Cracks in the Wall"  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> mental!Cas/Lucifer, Cas/Dean (if you squint)  
><strong>TV Show:<strong> Supernatural  
><strong>Word Count:<strong> ~1,100  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T

**A/N: I'm taking a small break from "Pain in the Head", but expect that in a week or two, maybe, sort of. College sucks, you know. **

**Anyway, this comes from 7x17, because why not. It's just something I wrote on tumblr (which you can totally follow me when I write these things; I do updates on PitH and other stories as well, it's cool beans). This is quite angsty, and I've made someone hate me, and that's cool.**

**Enjoy!**

**x x x x x x x x x x x**

Close the door, shut the windows. No air, don't breathe, he's right there, right next to you. Stare at the wall, just stare at the white bricks ahead. If you make eye contact, he'll win. He will not stop. His cold breath against your warm skin trickling down your neck—he's right there, right in your ear, whispering nothing but lies. He's lying, he always has lied. He will never stop lying. "They left you, brother, and now you're with me. They don't care about you." They care. They will always care. They are protecting you. They said they'd be back, he said he'd come back when things were safe again. He cares. They care. They both care. Just swallow and breathe, keep focus. You can't break. They'll be back. They'll come back. Fight.

x x x

He's still talking. How much time has passed? Doesn't matter, the sun is down. The windows are shut, the birds cannot fly in the darkness. Hell hath no place for God. The door is closed, the building is silent, but your left ear is on fire. He's right next to you, sitting there, watching you, telling you everything you do not want to hear. He's saying: "Come now, brother, I'm not trying to hurt you. Let's be friends." He wants no friendship. He just wants you. He wants to bring you down into the fire—what was that song again. "I fell into a burning ring of fire," Lucifer sings—that's it. It was on the radio one day. "I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher," he's still singing it. Stare at the white brick, it's still there. It's untouched, he hasn't burned it yet. The walls are clean. "And it burns, burns, burns," he's inching closer. Stop, stay away. Look at the wall. Don't make a sound. Do not move unless someone else moves you. "The ring of fire," the bed is on fire. It burns, burns, burns—"The ring of fire."

x x x

Phone call. It's them. They called. They care. See, Lucifer? You are wrong. You lied. "Cas?" Familiar.

"Oh, Cas this, Cas that—he only cares about you because you're a weapon. You do everything for them, and what do you get in return? Nothing." Lucifer is wrong. He's wrong.

"Cas we'll get you out of there, just—just hang tight. You doing okay?" Don't make a sound, you haven't spoken since he's been here. Hang your head in shame.

"Come on, Castiel, answer him. He cares so much about you, you know." The floor is dirty. "Look, I—I gotta go. Just be careful, alright?" Lucifer is staring up at you from the floor. His lips move.

"Goodbye, Cas."

x x x

She's in the room with you. Her black eyes—she's him. Not him. Like him. Yes. Like him. "Come on, Clarence, you have to go to therapy." Don't drag—no, no therapy. It does no good. The wall is fine, it keeps you focused on the fight. How long has it been? Doesn't matter, the sun is down. Darkness rules these walls now, along with the maniacal laughter in the ears of the Lord savoring every last drop of sanity.

"Yes, Castiel, go to therapy. Get better. Or, wait, you can't, can you? You're trapped in Hell." Hell flashes on the wall. Screaming bodies, naked souls, fire and brimstone, and dark shadows covering every inch of the netherworld. Chains clinking in the background, along with whips and scars mashing against bare skin. Those that had wronged do no right on the slabs of those that torture them. They beg for mercy, but God is not kind. He never has, he never will. And then a bright light, a tortured soul, but one that is pure. Yes, God, he will do.

x x x

You moved. He saw. He sees everything, and you screwed up. What is wrong with you? You useless—you're nothing. You're worse than nothing. You had one job and you screwed up. He will tell you how disappointed he is. He will not understand. Lucifer does, and he's holding on tight. "Oh, a weakness, little Castiel. Fantastic." Help, God, help, help, help, help, he has a different voice. He's not him. He's not him. Bring him back. Bring him back.

x x x

The door opens. Don't move. The corner is fine. "Cas?" Lucifer. "Where is he?" Don't ask, you know. He knows. Familiar voice, go away. You have no right to be here.

"He's over there, in the corner. He loves being in those dark places." Shut up, shut up, you place a maggot in the corner. That's what you said. You said those words. You spoke to him.

"Cas! Cas, hey, come on, it's me, hey—Cas?" Green eyes. Bright soul. Real. Real? Real. Real? You're—who are you? What are you? Lucifer? No, them. Wait. Why are you here? Hands on the face, worry, wanting answers—there are none. "Is he going to be okay?" She'll lie.

"No." See? He wipes something off your face. What was there? A scar? He's behind—he's behind him. Dean! Dean! Get up! Get away from—Push him away, that's it.

"Cas! Stop! It's me!" Saved your life—he was going to stab you. You took the fall. You fell. You're okay. You are fine. Just go.

x x x

He's not coming. "He doesn't want you." He left. Why did he leave? Was it—You did it. "Oh Castiel, blaming yourself. You know you did all of this anyway, so really, quit looking for pity." You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it.

x x x

The doors open. No, stop, stay away, get away—get away! Stop stomping over here. Just stare at the brick wall, do not let them grab you. No, stop! Please! "Cas, we're getting you out of here." No, you will not—don't. Please. Safe—safe. Safe. White walls save. And Lucifer—Lucifer is still here. Dean, no. Sam, get him out of here. Get him out. Just leave. "Cas, come on, stop, we need to go before they swarm us!" Us—they. Lucifer—

"Oh, I won't harm him. Just you." Yes, yes. That's right. That's what—that's it. That's what must happen, right? "Right."

Goodbye, Dean.

"Cas, what—wait, no!"

x x x

A dark place. This will do. "Oh Castiel, it'll be you and I until the end of time?" Yes. "He won't ever find you, you know." Yes. Of course. "You'll never see him." Yes. Now stay away. Just leave—the dark is friendly. "Welcome home, brother." Close your eyes, the white wall lied. Don't stop to help a singed angel—

"I fell into a burning ring of fire…"


End file.
